Do you ever wake up and for some reason, things just feel off? You have some type of premonition and you just feel ill. But not a normal type of ill. The feeling is almost indescribable.
I had that feeling this morning. For some weird reason I woke up at 7:30 when my husband kissed me goodbye as he was headed to work, and I just couldn’t go back to sleep. I sat up in bed and just felt sick, but I couldn’t understand why or what was wrong, I cracked open the book I’ve been reading ‘All the Bright Places’ but I was just skipping through the words, not really comprehending what I was reading. If you know me, you’re probably thinking… “7:30…. PM right??” because I haven’t even tried to get used to the time difference here and I typically sleep till well after 12 PM. I’m most definitely the kind of person you don’t want to catch when I’m tired, because I take cranky to a whole new level when I haven’t gotten my beauty rest.
Well, come 8:13 AM I get a text that Tomas got his tasking date and will deploy in October. We had a feeling this was coming, but it’s never actually real until they have a date. To say that text knocked the wind out of me is an understatement. We just got married last month. I just moved to Norway full time, rather than the three months on and three months off that I was doing before. I was so excited to spend the holidays together as husband and wife this year. We’ve been collecting ornaments for our Christmas tree for months, whenever we go somewhere neat. He’s going to miss my 23rd birthday. I’m going to be holding down the fort in a different country, without my support system.
I guess I should have expected that this day would come, but I also just thought we were the lucky ones. The 4 years that we’ve been together he’s been able to dodge the deployments. I’m just counting my lucky stars that at least it will be a safer deployment.
As I write this post I can’t help but think that everything happens for a reason. I made this blog 3 days ago. I had been wanting to do this for over a year now, but something clicked over the weekend and I knew I had to create this right then and there. It makes sense now. I needed this outlet, I needed a safe space to express these feelings and to wallow in self-pity for a minute. Somewhere that I can gather my thoughts.
So thank you to the few followers that we have so far, for making this dream come true for Angela, Sherica, and myself. Thanks for supporting us. Lord knows I’ll need you guys, even more, come October. If you are a fellow milso, god bless you. Say a prayer for me to find acceptance and an even bigger prayer for my husband for guidance and for safety through his deployment. I won’t be taking a single second of the next 5 months for granted.
Love you guys
P.s. This photo came up on my Timehop this morning from our Disney vacation three years ago. This was my favorite vacation of ours by far. It only seems appropriate to share some positivity as well.